AUTHOR: Mindy Willens

I wish I had this to offer my little sister when she was dating online. She, like many others, was excited about the possibilities and the chance to find love. But little did we know that her journey would take a dark turn.She got into a relationship with someone I can only describe as a walking red flag. Slowly, she became secretive and withdrawn from all of us, acting entirely out of character in a number of alarming ways. We felt so helpless, not knowing what was happening or how to help her.By the time we decided an intervention was necessary, it was too late. The boyfriend called us to say she had died (a day after it happened). She was 25. Why didn’t we hear from the police? It was because when they arrived on the scene, he told them she had no family and that he was her only family. When we reached her apartment, he had taken her computer along with any artwork she had created. It was a devastating blow, and we later discovered 911 calls from domestic abuse incidents. As far as I know, he’s still out there.

As for me, I trusted someone who deceived not only me but everyone in my life. planned our future together, had a wedding ceremony, even tried to start a family. But it was all a lie. I discovered that he had been cheating on me from the very beginning and wasn't even single when we met! The other woman (actually, I was technically the “other woman”) sent me their Domestic Partnership Certificate. I have since scrolled past his dating profile, which stated, “you will be enraptured by my honesty.” He is still out there, too.

It was a bumpy road that led me to create this guidebook, but I didn't let it break me. Instead, I channeled my tragedy into a driving force to help others. I wanted to ensure that no one else had to go through what I went through. I don’t always follow my own rules; they are created as I learn from past experiences (mine as well as other peoples’ “he’s still out there” stories). So, when I say that I understand the challenges and complexities of modern dating, it comes from a place of personal experience and a genuine desire to make sure no one feels alone or lost in this.